Cassie Gordon

Only a few days ago was the first time I think I considered stopping my author career.

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It was a vague thought, but it was one that had caught my attention.

I’ve been in the “author game” since August in 2020. My shiny new book Mistake Me was out on the “shelves,” and it was a rosy, celebratory moment.

Then came 2021.

See, as a first-time published author, I couldn’t expect much. But when I released The Outcast with the Strawberry Patch, I assumed that one would do better. Less niche than Mistake Me. More marketable.

Wow, I was wrong! (At least, at the time of this post, I think TOWTSP has done worse than Mistake Me out of the gate.)

The moment of “Should I keep doing this?” knocked on the door in the back of my brain when my business license for this year cost more than what I’d made from being an author in 2020.

Marketing is where the “author game” gets tricky. It’s like a jungle. A dense, buggy, so-humid-even-your-sweat-can’t-get-out-of-your-pores jungle.

So why keep going when I’m in this sticky, dark tar of marketing street? Why keep going when I seem to hit a wall with ads (because to me it’s been a confusing can I?/can’t I? path following terms and conditions and laws)? Why write when my books don’t seem to sell and it seems every alley ends up in a tiny dead end?

Because of the reason I started this whole career:

To do what God wants me to do.

To reach people with my stories.

To moral-tell.

My M.O. isn’t about the money, though money would be nice right now.

My M.O. lies in something that’s far more important. Even if my books never get past 100 readers.

My M.O. is to do God’s will, and He got me on this path, so this is where I’m going to stay until He tells me to change directions.

It’s not an easy job, but I know that if God’s on my side, then there’s nothing to fear. I’ll plow forward (or crawl forward) knowing He’s in control. Knowing that He’s got my back in all of this. If I stumble, He’s not going to cast me out. If I sell more, it’s because He wants my books out there. If I don’t get any further than here, then I’ll assume my books have already done what they were supposed to.

Why keep going?

I know that God’s in control of everything. And that doesn’t just go for my career or sales or reach. His hand in things touches even to my very mind. When we see the future as a black pit of despair, it’s time to look to the Bible for what God has for His children. If you’re saved, then you know He has good things planned for us. He’ll use even our seemingly failed actions (or books) for our good. If you’re not saved, then please check out this post.

So I’ll keep going. I’ll keep (crawling) forward.

One more thing. We don’t know the future. We can “feel” we know it, but we can’t know it. We can predict, but we’re not omniscient like God is. So when He says everything is going to be used for our (His children’s) good, we can believe Him!

P.S. I’ve not been (too) idle. I have a big project planned. I started writing a little while ago, but I’ve hit a pothole. A… plot-hole. Seems my plot wasn’t fleshed out enough to be workable at this point. Plus, right now I’m studying up on an author (hopefully more than one) as I try to revise my writing style for a better read. I’m also digging into writing tips.

Hopefully the pattern continues and my books get increasingly more professional and gripping.

Have a hopeful day.

C.G.